Jokes and Stories: Just Plain Funny

That said, the silver lining of a weird, funny, or just plain bad date is that it always makes for a great story. It was ridiculous, but, lucky for him, we both started cracking up. I was SO excited. I got super dressed-up and went to the campus bar to meet him. I guess I drunkenly gave my number to a random guy at a party who happened to have the same name as this cute guy in my architecture class. It was super embarrassing but I made myself stick it out with a smile until the date ended.

Weird news: funny, strange & odd news stories

True Funny Old News Stories World’s oldest joke book A Cambridge academic has uncovered what is believed to be the world’s oldest joke book. The third century book of gags from the Roman Empire is written in Greek and entitled Philogelos, which translates as Laughter Lover. Professor Mary Beard says it debunks the popular myth that the Romans were ‘pompous, toga-wearing bridge builders’.

But this trout tie?

She told me we couldn’t afford beer anymore and I’d have to quit. So I asked, how come I had to give up stuff and not her. She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. I told her that was what the beer was for. I don’t think she’s coming back. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. Got married last weekend. Good Basis for Marriage? A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up.

My husband and I have a great relationship, ‘the wife explained. He communicates really well and I just act like I’m listening.

10 Embarrassing Sex Stories From Our Readers

Don’t wait, propose today. Don’t miss our Free Compatibility Test , where you’ll find your perfect match. Lenny I’m 7-foot-5 and looking for love. You likey the love? Tall guys have it going on

I let it go and we said goodbye maturely.

First birthdays, first haircuts…then our teenage, and eventually college, years hit and the idea of first dates, first kisses and first times where overshadowed by the looming feelings of nervousness. We sat there and talked for at least 30 minutes and the girl just kept getting better and better. My boyfriend and I will be there. They dressed me in a skintight dress and five inch heels.

My date met me at my apartment and as soon as we stepped onto the gravel, I fell face first. Not how I imagined starting the date. I ended up hooking up with a guy outside and had to physically push him away so that I could throw up all over the lawn, accidentally getting some on his shoes. My friends had to carry me to the car and because my costume was extremely short, it allowed everyone to see my bright red panties!

We met in high school and stayed friends all throughout college. During our senior year, he decided to ask his long-time girlfriend to marry him and I was excited for him. Then he asked me the unthinkable:

Husband and Wife Jokes

Read the funniest dating traumas! Jun 29, Being with your crush or boyfriend can already be a nerve-wracking experience, but add a humiliating moment to the mix and you’ve got yourself a Traumarama! Check out these readers’ embarrassing dating stories! We went to a nice restaurant, and while we were eating our meal, I sneezed — and a huge booger bubble came out of my nose!

It was awful, and it wouldn’t go away. I jumped up as fast as I could and ran to the bathroom with my hands over my face.

Pensioner Gustav Ernegger turned on the policeman when he grabbed him as he ran out of a clothes shop in Braunschweig, Germany, after stealing a shirt.

Throughout the years, these hymns have been further developed to inject humor, military life, and bragging for some. Because not only, they have to keep on track with their steps, they have to be amused as well while keeping their cool in check during jugging. Yes, they have to be serious while singing that funny song or two!

Themes in military cadences Most topics talk about patriotism, military life, and homesickness. Cadences prevalent in the army came from the old nursery rhyme, Old King Cole, which they sometimes change it to Chesty Puller in honor of the most decorated Marine. Meanwhile, cadences can also be about boastings, adult humor, or insults. He is often partnered with a specific Suzie — perhaps a general name for the girl in his story.

Nevertheless, Jody jokes are all made-up stories by the military or some people to poke fun of the rhythms. Ten funny military cadences These hilarious chants may or may not be used in the military, but they sure sound funny. The army can be put to shame if they are heard singing these hymns.

Funny Dating Jokes

I found Kimberly on OKCupid. She was hot, her essays were smart, and I laughed about half a dozen times reading her profile, whereas most profiles I read barely made me smile. According to the site, she responded to messages often which surprised me , and I messaged her. After not hearing back from her for two and a half weeks, I had almost forgotten about her when one morning, she emailed me a note:

We were thirty years old but I felt like I was back in high school in all the best ways.

Electric Bug-aloo Via Amazon. You trap a bug in one end of a tube, then press the trigger to suck the bug into wherever part collected the dead bodies. The whole idea grossed me out so much I never even opened the box! Clearly, I wasn’t thrilled, so I tried to return it. Well, that failed when customer service told me the blanket hadn’t been sold in stores But this trout tie? Yes, Nancy remembered that I love to fish, but it’s as ugly as sin.

I haven’t had the nerve to wear it for 15 years, yet I put it on now so you don’t think I’m making the story up. Just brush ’em off and saddle up Via Amazon.

Some of the Most Hilarious Online Dating Profiles

By Ali Garfinkel Mar 17, 7: But we didn’t meet until OKCupid matched us, and it was love at first sight. There was no coffee rendezvous; he took me to the fantastically romantic Il Cielo in Beverly Hills on our first date, and we’ve been together ever since.

They continued to saunter across, laughing off any attempts to stop them.

October 10, Gokhan Arslan Online dating enables a significantly larger pool of life partner candidates, thus more meetings with them. On the other hand, we are not objects, we have emotions. Every meeting which makes its way to a relationship, tends to involve feelings. One way or another, hearts get broken. Another thing is, the awareness that there are a lot of fish in the pool makes us ungrateful and dissatisfying.

I can have a dinner with a 9 and seek to meet other women with an unrealistic expectation to find a Just marry the woman your mama finds, whatever. Gokhan Arslan Not necessarily. Littlest flaws are going to irritate you even if he is completely perfect in every other ways to vague I know but you are going to take him granted and dump him to try new ones.

DeeDee Massey You make a solid point about the potential for an overwhelming volume of interactions. Loreta Wilson Met my current husband on match….. I had my list of what I wanted, and stuck to that list. Took a few non-matching first dates until I met the right person.

Large Collection of Bad Date Night Stories

Most of our time together thus far had been pleasant. When that early February came around, Willa and I had been together for about two and a half months. We thought it would be nice to take a weekend trip up to New Hampshire and Vermont. Willa parked her car at where I was living in a Boston suburb and we took off together in my car.

He says the first time that he met me it was at a party that he came to and I happened to be there.

How can you definitely know who a person is before you meet them IRL? What if they secretly have a face tattoo? These 15 stories of online dating disasters will feed your biggest paranoias. The conversation was terrible, but I noticed she was taking the chicken fingers and ripping them up in her hands and putting the breading in her huge purse. So naturally I called her out on it. She plopped the thing in the middle of the table, and it just kinda chilled out.

I played with the chinchilla a bit, and she kinda got mad at me for playing with it and back in the purse it went. I brought up this lb. He asked if the guy was named XXX. She only wanted to communicate through email or the dating site — which I thought was odd but just went with it. Thirty minutes into our date, I found out why…. He had loads of swords and machetes on the wall and decided to hold one to my throat to show me how incredibly strong they were.

I arrived on the date, all happy, but realized that the girl who sat was a year old lady with two children and was just finding an excuse to leave her house. I was a fan.

30 of the worst first date stories ever : theCHIVE

This mode of people-meeting is far and away the choice of most singles in their quests for a date or soul mate. With the millions of internet dates worldwide every month, comes a lion’s share of dating horror stories. We have many more first date and internet dating horror stories to come. Be sure to get your bad date stories submitted too!

Red wine and true friendship to the rescue.

How can you definitely know who a person is before you meet them IRL? What if they secretly have a face tattoo? These 15 stories of online dating disasters will feed your biggest paranoias. The conversation was terrible, but I noticed she was taking the chicken fingers and ripping them up in her hands and putting the breading in her huge purse. So naturally I called her out on it.

She plopped the thing in the middle of the table, and it just kinda chilled out. I played with the chinchilla a bit, and she kinda got mad at me for playing with it and back in the purse it went.

My Craziest TINDER story EVER!


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